Ladies and Gentlemen...

...Please assume the fetal position. The end of our world as we know it has begun.

There are multiple signs pointing to the apocalypse. I think it wise to list them, in descending order of least to greatest importance.

Are you ready?

SHOCKING FACT #3: TOMB RAIDER LEGEND IS ACTUALLY GOOD

Let's mull on that. The last time I checked, anytime anybody mentioned Lara Croft or Tomb Raider in a crowd of (stereotypical) gamers, the response elicited would be either horrendous laughter, not unlike the kind used for embarrassing others to shame, or a loud remark of lewd connotations.

In utter seriousness, though, Lara Croft has been getting the short end of the stick when it comes to gaming. The original developers for Tomb Raider obviously went brain dead long ago, not to mention BOTH movies were total trash. Angelina Jolie? Nope. Not even her alluring presence would save such a bombshell.

And yet someone has resurrected the game. And made it COOL. That must be a sign!

AMAZING FACT #2: TWILIGHT PRINCESS WILL ACTUALLY HAVE FUNTIONALITY ON NINTENDO REVOLUTION

I can't say much more, since there is little more to say.

Finally...

AMAZING FACT #1: THERE IS, IN FACT, AN ACTUAL PODCAST CALLED ASK A NINJA

Whoa. I thought i would never see the day. Go Google it, I don't have the time to make a link. I need to get on America's Army.

ELDRIN OUT.

CARROT.